The Scotsman reports

JOHN BEATTIE

WOW. Jim Telfer is writing rugby columns picking holes in the tactics of the British and Irish Lions! He was spot on actually, pointing out that a massive pack was forced to chase the ball passed wide across the field by small midfield men and at the same time losing out in the physical aspects of their game with the Maoris.

I wonder what Ian McGeechan makes of it all because you can bet that there will be a column-gathering service and every morning Sir Clive will be presented with a precis of all of the articles written about the Lions.

And I have three very, very bad thoughts this Monday morning. The first is that if I am honest I hated my Lions tour to New Zealand because we lost and it became a drinking festival more than a rugby tour.

The second is that I can't see how this Lions squad is going to take the Kiwis apart. And the third is the worst one. It's the thought that I almost feel anti-Lions because there are so few Scots in the party and the Lions should be so much more than a tour for 20 or so Englishmen and three - now two - Scots.

I am watching a Lions squad that seems to be full of Englishmen and Welshmen doing badly. And I am not heartbroken about it. Am I twisted?

How on earth Jason White isn't there I don't know.

The first thought then. I toured New Zealand in 1983 when Jim Telfer was the coach. He was a brilliant tactician and a brilliant man, but some players decided that what he taught wasn't correct so a few of his lessons were discarded deliberately. We roamed New Zealand from north to south and back again, losing the Tests with alarming regularity, and I had to realise early on that I wasn't regarded as good enough - not even to be included in a side that was losing.

After about four weeks of a ten-week tour I'd had enough, but there was no escape. You grow up as a player hearing of how great men make great friendships on tours, but for me it was a trial just to get through it and many of us went off the rails. I did, I know that, and I feel guilty about it.

THE only way to really enjoy a rugby tour is if you win. If the 2005 Lions come back having lost, it will have been a nightmare.

The second thought now. It strikes me that the New Zealanders have much more ammunition than the Lions.

Perhaps the Lions have different tactics in store for the Test series but as far as I can see the fundamentals of rugby lie with the Kiwis. Their players are more ferocious in attack and tackling, they are better passers of the ball, they are bigger and faster in the back division, and, crucially, as a Lions tour to New Zealand happens only once every 12 years or so, the Kiwis seem really determined to win this one.

And the third point. I feel really, really guilty about this but at least I'm consistent - I was the same as a player. If I was ever on the bench I wanted the team I was with to lose, and that was at any level. Gary Parker and I were talking about this in Romania, and he said he felt the same way, so it must be something to do with how competitive you are.

I wanted the player in my position to have a shocker. If the team won and I had been on the bench or, worse, injured and having to watch, I felt detached and destroyed.

So, watching this Lions tour I think: well, it's been picked with so few Scots and it has almost been a slap in the face to Scottish rugby so why should I care? Look, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: "How can he think like that?" I even wonder myself how I can think like that.

I know it's wrong. But so far, I just can't help it. And this despite the fact that I can't stand the Kiwis. I hope I rediscover my sense of Britishness in time for the Tests.

This article was posted on 13-Jun-2005, 07:36 by Hugh Barrow.