GHK UPDATE

Ode to Prop Forwards [otherwise entitled ‘My dad has a neck and my mum is well proportioned. What happened to me?’]



"In the tight, the physical is to the moral as three is to one." Napoleon Bonaparte

Men, this weeks forum calls for a moment of calm to let us join together in front row union and take a moment to appreciate the bastions of our club – the Props.

Let there be no misunderstanding. Props are born, not made. Prop forwards are the cornerstone of any rugby team; whilst Brothers Jenkins and Hayman lead this band of idiosyncratic body shapes towards faster more mobile play, you cannot play rugby union as it stands today without your two Props.

Times have changed in the work of the front row since the old days of the stereotypical cartoon rugby player. Risk is not so welcome in the modern age and in recent times the scrum has been downgraded and new roles have been found for Props such as lifting at the line-out, guarding the fringes of the breakdown and even running with the ball. A glimpse of the old school with their cauliflower ears, turnip heads and a radish for a nose can still be seen in the modern day prop but the emphasis of role today is the perpetual ‘go forward’.

Props - never usually the most attractive, well-spoken, or widely certified for their academic abilities - are known in their ability for eating, drinking and tall stories of a try scored in a game long passed. The trouble with the Prop is that while this special group of people are plying their trade, nobody else can understand what they are doing and leave them to their own. One minute they are following in behind; the next they are bound, crouched and engaged with the opposition and lost from sight. These well worn faces do invisible work. Ask yourself this, what other position on the battlefields of our great game fight so intensely close at hand with his opposite man for a matter inches but a mile of pride? Often I glance to the right to my young brother in arms and with unease have to withhold the help I pray offer as he battles to master his trade on the tighthead side. The laws of the front row union assert that he makes his own mark in the murky underworld of front-row play.

So this week Men, if you are a silky back-row or a one of those over-groomed fly-half types and happen to glide past a plodding prop on the battlefield or see one that will be the butt of the jokes in the clubhouse please spare a thought and consider the qualities this player brings to your great club. You may think that his numbers of 1 or 3 are to do with his ‘oddness’ but rather realise that this man has been selected to join an exclusive club as a lifetime member. Macleod and Macleod Stornoway black pudding is only the first step towards full membership. This is a tight knit club with stringent rules on secrecy. A prop would never risk excommunication by unwittingly unleashing the secrets he has acquired with his head in the face of the enemy.


In short, Props are Officers. If you are one of the lucky ones, take immense pride in the knowledge that your trade is a hard, unsung one, where success is worn in the heart. Unlike those backs. If you are not a prop, gaze upon them henceforth with awe and this week attempt to emulate their spirit and resolve in your own position.

The 13 non props in GHK remain reasonably settled from last weeks side that beat Forrester in Edinburgh. Some say that Peter Broadbent has been granted leave to try beat his lap time for pulling a truck around the Nurburgring. All we know is he’s not available. Dave Whyte returns at full back which allows the great McT back into the pack. Young Gun is back from the English Riviera and slots in for the promising ‘Pinky’ Campbell-Young.
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Padre Dunlop and Assistant Adjutant General Shambilton have held senior strategy talks this week and are gearing themselves up for the second frontal push. Light troops and heavy troops - brace yourself. Boyd maneuver.

The Athens of the North calls again this week with a trip to Ross High on Saturday for the first of this seasons 2pm kick-offs. The team is as follows:

15 D ‘Still Waiting to be Wise‘ Whyte
14 J ‘Resus‘ Shannon
13 C ‘Nanny’ Breckenridge
12 D ‘Das Eine Pound Geschäft’ Hoffman
11 R ‘Tainted’ Love
10 S. ‘The Oldest Profession‘ O’Donnell
9 A ‘Wooden’ Shedden
1 A ‘Grant Fox’ Forbes
2 G ‘Easy Rider’ Reid
3 M ‘Nokia’ Tuomine
4 A ‘Picket’ Drummond
5 H ‘10 Denier’ Parker
6 A ‘Unmagentised‘ Neilson
7 A ‘Miss Chinese Toronto Pageant’ McTavish
8 E ‘Salamander’ Thow

16 C ‘Out of all the vases in the kiln the best one was made from’ McLay
17 R ‘Pacino‘ McCormack
18 C ‘Mueller‘ Sorlie

Theme for the leaky bus home: Halloween

Genuine best wishes and a thick slice of Dundee cake to all Anniesland teams tomorrow.

Yours as always, running towards the gunfire in front row union, ball in hand and making ground, with a Samoan sidestep, handoff and correct presentation. Never beaten, its best Mizuno boot forward and onto the second phase. With thoughts of Ralgex jerseys and opportunities with armpit hair. Crouch. Touch. Pause. Engage.

Disco [Cpt.]


Supporting Note: Rumour has it that Major Ken Cowan is on signal training ops in Toromolinos. Marseilles in revolt!

This article was posted on 30-Oct-2009, 13:41 by Hugh Barrow.